About Me

I am a woman in her late 30's looking to lose 150 pounds so that I will be healthy enough for surgery. At some point in my mid forties I will require surgery to correct a congenital heart defect.
I started this blog to, first and foremost, try to stay accountable to myself. At the same time, I am hoping it will help to write my feelings down in a more public way. I have tried to keep a diary many times before but have always struggled with the fact that in the end, you are writing to no one. I am hoping that by writing here, and on the off chance that someone sees it, I can share my struggles to help someone else validate their own. Maybe then, we can do this together. I can't tell you how many times I have thought that I am alone in this world, dealing with how I feel and that no one can relate to me. I need to get past that.
I am hoping this will help.
I have been overweight my entire life. I was 250 lbs in 8th grade and started college at 320. I started this blog 50 pounds heavier than that. I have never allowed my weight to hold me back from anything. I am a successful business person. I am happily married to an amazing man of normal weight. I have travelled the world and had wonderful life experiences. I think this is why it has always been hard for me to find the motivation I needed to lose the weight. I just didn't see the need.
I do now, I am tired and sore and tired of being the biggest person in the room. But really my motivation is easy; I am scared of dying. Surviving surgery is my motivation and I will try to remember that each and every time I need to make a choice about the food I eat and the way I treat my body.
I will do this so that I will survive my surgery. I will.