The cake that wasn't

We had a Mother's day bbq at my sister-in-law's on Saturday night (yes, a day early, but it is hard to coordinate the schedules of such a large family). Anyway, I had a very successful time of it. Just a chicken burger, no bun with some baked sweet potato fries and salad with no dressing. I did though have a small piece of banana bread, but I kept it light all day so that I could do that.
The scale is finally catching up with my efforts. It continues to go down and at this rate I stand to have my best week ever. Very exciting. It is very motiviating to keep on making good choices when the scale is cooperating. I just need to keep in mind that when I really am following my plan and keeping the calories down that the scale will catch up and not let it derail me when the number on the scale doesn't move that quickly.

One thing about me that I haven't blogged about is that I bake. I love to bake. I find it very soothing to spend time mixing and kneading and folding and from very simple ingredients a beautiful, delicious cake or bread, or cookie, or brownie can appear and delight so many people. So I bake, a lot. Well in the six weeks that I have been very seriously dieting I have not baked at all. Not once. And I have to say, I feel like I am going through a mini withdrawal. I sit, for hours sometimes, looking up recipes and imagining how good that cake would be, how much fun the bread would be to make, to watch rise, to knead, to punch down and watch rise again.
Well about three weeks ago, I got it in my head that I was going to bake a coffee cake. A simple humble white cake with a crunchy topping. I have been searching for what I consider the perfect recipe and this weekend, I found it. I was so excited. I even had all of the ingredients in the house and at last, Sunday morning, I was going to get up early and bake it. That way, hubby and I could have it for breakfast. I mean, really, if you have baked goods as a meal that makes them healthy right? So before bed Saturday night I shared this great plan with hubby. I told him we were going to get up Sunday morning and I was going to make this cake and we would enjoy a leisurely breakfast with coffee cake and our morning lattés. Well, we got up Sunday morning and I thought long and hard about all of the effort that goes into making the scale budge even a little and how hard it is for me to lose even one pound and in the end, I made poached eggs and toast.
The recipe will keep.
I will save it and then next time we entertain and host a lot of people I will bake it and be able to share it with others.
Just like so many other conversations with myself that I am trying to reframe as part of this journey, I need to reframe my baking. It will evolve into something I do to share with others. Something I take pleasure in producing for them. Oh, I will not deprive myself of a small piece, but it will be as part of a planned day where it will not derail me. It will not turn into chocolate cake for breakfast. It will not be a soother for me, rather it will be a gift to my friends and family.
I will do this, I will.