Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Obsession abounds

Weigh In today. I have a loss for the week of 5.2 pounds. Unbelievable. I don't think I have ever lost that amount of weight in one week. Ever.
I weigh myself everyday. I know you are only supposed to weigh in once per week but I do it everyday right when I get up. I believe that it helps to keep me on track. If the number is down from the day before it motivates me to keep up with the diet. If the number is higher it gives me a bit of a kick to get on track.
But it is a problem and not one that I know how to solve. This week, I knew I was on plan. I knew I was having a good week. Did I really need to know how the scale was reacting every day? What ended up happening was by yesterday, I was so afraid of doing something that would make the scale go up that I was afraid to eat. Me, afraid to eat. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that would be my reaction. I really had to talk myself into eating dinner last night. I was able to prepare a healthy one, but I was obsessed about keeping the sodium levels low so that I wouldn't be retaining water for this morning's weigh-in.
I am not sure what to do with this. I know, logically, that I will not lose 5lbs in a week each week. I know, logically, that it would be lunacy to try and that it would cause me all sorts of headaches and lethargy if I did. But the scale moved a lot and that's really motivating. I know, logically that the number on the scale is not all that important but I need to be under 250 for my surgery, so for me, it is.
I haven't decided how I am going to handle this yet. I still feel the need to weigh myself everyday as the mental check in with myself. I think though, that as part of that mental check in, I need to continue to remind myself that I need to eat enough food to fuel my body, prevent the migraines and give myself enough fuel to function well at work. I will try to maintain a weight loss of 2lbs per week and not be so obsessive about this. I just haven't figured out how.
I will do this, I will.

2 comments:

  1. Well done on the weight loss.

    Like you, I am taking it one day at a time and finding that any sort of obsession on my part is counter-productive. I have to go from minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day making choices and being mindful that they are good ones. I am finding it a struggle, but in thinking about the struggle I am also learning lots about myself. Sounds as though you are too. Good luck!

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  2. I can relate to the scale issue. I had a scale and at first, I didn't weigh myself every day. But I increasingly started weighing myself more and more until it was every day or 2x a day.

    I still didn't care until I started letting THE SCALE control me. You can't do that. It will drive you crazy. It shouldn't be about 1 weigh in. Your focus needs to be on the downward trend.

    My scale's batteries wore out and I never got new ones. Recently when I moved, I threw out the scale. I'm thinking about getting a new one but I don't want to get tied up in it again. I haven't had a scale in about 1.5 yrs!

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