Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Big Day Tomorrow

Weigh in today. Down another 2.4 lbs, yeah me. I am really trying to maintain at least one pound per week weight loss on a consistent basis. Goal for this week is to track what I am eating and count calories. That is really hard for me. I find it very restrictive and somewhat freakish to have to do it. BUT, it really is the only way to stay accountable and lose the weight. So I will try. And, if I don't do it one day, I will not give up for the week, rather I will try again the next day, and then the next, and then the next, and then.. well you get the idea. I will keep trying until I succeed. This has been a really slow journey for me. I have been working for years at changing my behaviour. The binges have stopped. The PMS eating, the migraine eating, the constant snacking, it really has gotten so much better. I am able to have an off meal and it not turn into an off month. I am able to enjoy restaurants and social events without it derailing my efforts. I am able to eat without feeling bad about it. I am able to make better choices and be proud of that accomplishment without feeling deprived. Those are all victories in this battle and I am grateful for them.
It is interesting that I am no longer nauseas when I eat. It used to be that I would eat a meal and then feel really nauseas. I have no idea what it was that was causing it, but as I have been improving my diet it has disappeared. I am on the watch for it and will journal any meals that cause it to figure out the trigger, but I have to say, for now it is gone. And that alone, has made a huge difference for me.
Tomorrow is my annual cardiology appointment. I am scared out of my wits. They weigh you before your appointment and I am probably 10lbs higher than last year. Man am I going to take crap for that. In any event, it is what it is and I can't dwell on that, so I will be proud of what I have accomplished in these last 3 months and continue to work hard at it.
I will do this, I will.

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